Mother's Day Firsts

Last Mother's Day was my 4th Mother's Day as a mommy. Every year, I dread mother's day, simply because there's so many people to consider, my mom, Scott's mom, Oma and now myself. (I could really care less about it). And to throw a wrench into the party, is the fun fact that my parents are divorced. So, previously I would have my Mom and Oma AND my Dad over for a meal. I always felt sad for my mom that she had to share this day with her ex. But that's how I needed to do it. Scott and I would have them over for a meal and then high tail it over to his Mom's for some sort of small gathering.

This year was the first year, that Oma wasn't able to come. This was sad in a way. But I guess it worked out, cause that meant my Mom could enjoy time with us without the ex around.



The most memorable thing about this mother's day was that it was the first year Q was in school to prepare for mother's day by "himself". They had a little mother's day tea for us in his classroom. It was so cute, I wanted to cry.



I got to his classroom and was announced by his teacher. "Here's your mom, Q". He jumped up off his spot on the rug and ran over to me and hugged me so hard. He then presented me with my first handmade by Q Mother's Day present. It was a cute little heart shaped pin, that he painted pink and glued buttons to. He was so proud of it. He then showed me where to sit at his table and then jumped in my lap. He then kissed me several times and held my hand. It was so sweet. He is an affectionate kid, but this was a little more than I've been getting from him lately. It truly made me swell up with love for him. If I could some how freeze frame that moment, it was so precious. He then showed me a book he had made for me, which described his love for me, and why he loved me (because I play Candy Land with him). According to the book, he also said he thought I was 4 years old. HA! The other mom's kids said they were 99 and 13 years old...I was the youngest mom in the room (for real), most definitely, but ha ha! I'm 4!! I'll take it. (My child also thinks that when he turns 4, he can drive the car.) It was such a sweet time with my boy. I wonder though, as years go by, if I'll think that these things are lame and dread going? I hope not. I don't want to become cynical about these types of things.

Again, I'm just thankful for my children. And I'll put my first mother's day homemade gift in my jewelry box and keep it forever!

God is Good!

All the time.
All the time, God is GOOD!
I can say this with confidence. I have been thru bad times and have felt His presence and have been thankful for the bad times, cause they ultimately do bring good. I have been thru good, and while its easier to be thankful, sometimes its easy to forget to be thankful, or say thanks or rejoice, because its smooth sailing.
Its easy right now to be thankful. Little B's eyes have been healed and he won't need surgery! Praise God. I know its more miracle than anything else. Two weeks ago, he had a cold and lots of congestion, and his eyes looked the worst they have ever looked. Green stuff oozing from them, red rimmed, puffy eyelids, all of it. I was confident that the surgery rescheduled for today, was absolutely necessary. Well, when that cold finally subsided (it was a loong one), his eyes cleared up too. Completely. No weeping, or running, no green stuff, no yellow stuff or even redness under his eyes. He looks so cute! I cannot even remember the last time he didn't have some eye issues going on. I think this whole blocked tear duct thing started when he was 3 weeks old.
So upon noticing how great his eyes looked for the past week, I called the opthomologist who was doing the surgery, and took him in for a check, she agreed that he looked great and did NOT need surgery! Oh thank you LORD! I was so anxious waiting the hour at the doctor's office while, someone who came in after me, got taken first and seen first (grumbling in my head the whole time at how much I loathe doctors sometimes!). For some reason, I was nervous that she would think I'm a crazy mom, trying anything to not have to put my son under anesthesia. (which is exactly what I was doing--LOL!) Why I care about such things is beyond me. So, when she finally did see him and told me that he looked great and not to do the surgery, I almost did a dance, and could not contain my joy when I did say "Praise God!" and laughed out loud.
Thank you God!! I can't stop saying it today.

update

I wrote the previous post 2 weeks ago and never hit publish.
B has been sleeping thru the night since that night. I'm a little more sane.

Crying it out

I'm listening to B cry it out. Its been 13 minutes. I don't get how he is hanging in there so long. He didn't nap today and he had OT this morning to totally tire him out. LORD please, don't let it be another ear infection. He's been crabby all day. I'm truly ready to scream and cry it out myself. Honestly, I don't like this. I just want to run away somewhere.

Its been 18 minutes now. How long til I cave? Its not even winding down.



I have to confess something while I'm sitting here trying not to hear the crying. I haven't been doing my bible study homework. *Gasp* I know. I've given up on the one entirely. The gifts of the Spirit....too in depth for my liking. I got sidetracked in March when I wasn't at bible study for 3 weeks, and haven't gotten back into it.



Cripes, its been 21 minutes...I can't take it...



Anyway, its not like I don't want to know more about the gifts of the Spirit, it just was taking soo long to get thru them, and I got so behind, I threw my hands up. Yesterday, I finally got back to my mom's bible study stuff, and I totally loved it.



23minutes, crying louder and stronger... ok, 5 more minutes and I'm going back up there.

I'm trying to muster up enough patience or whatever to not freaking scream. I don't feel bad for him, I just feel angry, I know that cannot be good.



The mom's study is so good. Yesterday's homework was about how Christ dying on the cross was to set us free from the sin that keeps us captive. ANd it was about living by the Spirit, and how the Spirit gives us fruit to counteract our flesh. LIke right now, the fruit of the spirit that counteracts my 'fits of rage' and 'outbursts of anger' is patience and love. I can feel the battle going on.



28 minutes. 2 more and i'll go, but in all essence, I just taught him to cry for 30 minutes for me to go get him... akdslfffffffffffff j

as I punch the freeking keyboard....please Holy Spirit, come and save me from my flesh. I can't do this. Help me to show love to my children, and not sheer annoyance that they're not doing what I want them to do!~

Ok, that's totally weird. The crying has stopped at exactly 29minutes, things are quiet. Can it be that he's asleep?
He is!

Better Late than Never

Happy 1st Birthday to my little B. His birthday was on Saturday, and I'm just now getting to post. Just to get down on imaginary paper(mainly for my benefit) what he's up to at 1 year....

• He's a little lightweight. The round of sickness in March has him down to just 19lbs. But that's OK, he's super cute, even though he crawls out of all his pants.
• He has extremely strong opinions about things. Especially food. If he loves it, he gets excited about it and screams and sorta wiggles and 'conducts' for more. If he doesn't like it, it is spit out immediately and then completely cleaned off the high chair tray onto the floor, in one fell swoop or swipe.
• Some other things he strongly dislikes is big brother taking away a toy. Lordy, the screaming that follows the 'snatch and grab'. He also hates it when he's determined to get somewhere and gets interrupted, and goodness if you try and pick him up off the steps he's trying to climb! He's a determined little guy.
• He's a man of few words. For a while there, I thought he'd be an early talker like Q. He says a few words rather inconsistently, like 'fish', and 'ball' and 'dada', and maybe 'bye'.
• He's been busy with motor milestones lately. He finally learned to crawl on hands and knees 2 Saturdays ago, and now pulls on to stand and cruises on everything (this started maybe 3 weeks ago). The OT is quite pleased with the progress, and I thought, great, now he's caught up, but there's a whole list of things he hasn't done that he's supposed to do. One of them is crawl backwards. WTHeck? Why does one need to crawl backward? Anyway. I guess I'm stuck with the OT for a while longer.
• Sleeping is not a favorite thing for him. Luckily, he does great on a 10 minute power nap in car and not too much crankiness as a result. He's still getting up 1 time a night, at least. There are times he sleeps thru the night.
• He's so good at entertaining himself, which is sooo nice. I can't tell you how nice it is.
• He's good at defending himself now. Ask Q how bad a baby bite to the cheek feels. HA!
• Above all things, he is a BLESSING. I'm so thankful for him.

B's Eye Update #2

So, last night with B was bad. I left to go to coffee with a friend at 7:30 and had a nice time chatting it up. On my way home at 9:30, Scott called to tell me it was time to come home. B had been screaming for a while and he couldn't take it anymore, cause he couldn't put him down or sit down while holding him without him screaming. I knew what it was.

He was up every hour or so screaming all night. I'm so glad I had made the doctor appointment to get an accurate weight. They let me do his well check and checked his ears and sure enough the screaming last night was due to an ear infection. The pediatrician told me to cancel the surgery, and I did not hesitate one bit. I'm even more agitated that the pre-admin nurse didn't check his ears now. But oh well. I'm going to reschedule the surgery at a different hospital. I feel so relieved.

Now, I'm just praying that little B will be able to tolerate oral antibiotics OK and not get the runny belly from them. He lost A LOT of weight. The doctor today looked at him and the first thing he said was that he looked thin. When I explained the constant sicknesses, mainly the week long stomach virus, he told me he wasn't worried. But I'm still looking to fatten this kid up! He didn't gain any weight from the last visit. So, I'm trying hard not to give him junk just to get calories in him.

B's Eye Thing Update

I did call the eye doctor who is doing his eye probing procedure and told her my story. She reassured me that she does this a lot at the location we're scheduled at, and that they do have a pediatric anesthesiologist. She also suggested that I take him to the pediatrician to get an accurate weight and measurement (although, I think she was just trying to put my mind at ease with this). She then called the place where they did the pre-admission testing to tell them my beef. They later called and apologized, but that's not what I was looking for. I was just looking for competence.

On a side note, something is up with our little guy tonight. He's been up several times already tonight, crying. Its a little unusual. I'm glad we have the appointment tomorrow morning at the ped's to check him out. I'm restless tonight as well. We'll see if anyone sleeps tonight.