Two

My J turned two a month and a half ago and I need to write down the things I remember about him at this age.  He's a lot like me and B, emotional and not afraid to show it!  But his happy moods are the best and he's so funny.  When I look back to this summer when D was born, so much has hanged in such a little time.  He barely talked when D was born.  In fact, "baby" was like his first word.  He calls D 'baby' all the time.  If you ask him what D's name is, he says "baby" even if you correct him.  Its cute. 
When we first brought D home, J couldn't see him over the edge of the pack-n-play we have in the dining room.  He is now so much taller he can see over and reach over the edge of the pack-n-play to see him and he can touch him.  He's very fond of his baby brother.  Its sweet.  Although he will tell me not to pick up 'baby' when he feels like its his turn with mommy.  He's a chatter box now.  Says all sorts of sentences.  When Karen left in August, he was saying a word here and there, when she saw him over Thanksgiving, he was speaking in sentences.  Crazy.  He calls Q, "nun" or "noo noo", and B "mi mi".  One of my favorite things he says now is "Not Good, Mom."  It often comes out "not dood".  And it cracks me up. 
I'm constantly saying to J, "Guess what?  I love you."  and try sooo hard to get him to say " I love you."  It doesnt' work.  He never says it back.  Last night, he climbs up on the couch next to me and snuggles up to me and says "I love me!"   
He loves to say to me, "Guess what mom?" I say what, and he says "baby go to bed!" and then laughs hysterically.  I have no idea why that's funny, but its his go-to joke. 
He eats a lot during breakfast and lunch, but rarely eats dinner.  And I"ve learned  not to make a big deal of it, and let it go (oh how far I've come, when I used to make Q a separate dinner of mac n cheese so he'd eat!).  If the kid doesn't eat, he doesn't eat.  He loves his big brothers, but B is his punching bag.  B always has scratches all over his face from J.  He is fierce when he's angry.  (and much kudos to B, he doesn't fight back-usually). 
He has taken to carrying a Woody figurine around with him whereever he goes.  Last night, Woody lost his leg.  J was only upset for a second about this, and now carries a leg-less Woody around everywhere.  He used to call him "Buzz" all the time, but now he's "oodie". 
This kid is wicked cute.  My mom calls him a Hummel.  And he does have that German angelic baby look about him.  Fat cheeks, big big blue eyes, he's a darling.  Just don't cross him.
Oh, and for a twist, he is super fond of all daddy's or daddy figures.  He calls all men "Dad".  And prefers Daddy over me any day.  I used to go get him out of his crib and he would tell me to "go away, I want Daddy!"  But he's recently allowed me to get him, but then asks "where's Dad."  I guess somebody has to like dad best...actually I think they all do, but I'm not hurt.  I'm pretty fond of Scott myself. 
I could go on and on, but its enough already...

argh, I had a picture, but blogger won't let me upload from my phone..what's that about?

I'm going to design a t-shirt...

I'm going to design a t-shirt that says:
"Yes, I have four boys." 
"Yes, God HAS blessed me."
"No, I wasn't 'trying for the girl'."
"Yes, I am done, (not that its any of your bees wax)."
and on the back it would say,
"Please know people, that I wouldn't be taking my four boys by myself to BJ's if I absolutely possitively didn't have to.  But because I"m out of diapers, chicken nuggets and peanut butter all at the same time, and my husband is away, I decided to do it, just for fun (and for your judgemental comments and to allow you to have a conversation at dinner about how terrible my parenting skills are) You're welcome!"

;)

I am a Crazy Person

Having four kids is hard. 
I don't like being pregnant when I am pregnant.  When I'm not pregnant, I think pregnancy is awesome.  Why is that?
I no longer enjoy c-sections.  The recovery gets longer and longer with each subsequent one. 
The doctor said my uterus will likely fail if I were to get pregnant again.
But despite all this, I'm a tiny bit sad that D is the last baby in this house. 
He's already so big and mostly sleeping through the night, and I'm sad its going so fast.  I love a newborn, I love it when they take big deep breaths and sigh, and snuggle on your chest.  Its blissful.  I do know I have been blessed to have easier babies, so I do enjoy this stage so much. 
I think I go through this phase with every baby, and then at about a year, or a little bit older, I start to get my sanity back and start enjoying NOT having a tiny baby.  What's up with that? 
I am a crazy person.

I turned it off.

After having the T.V. on all winter, spring and summer.  I finally got the courage and strength to turn off the darn television.  For a whole week.  (That's the plan anyway).  I have let the kids watch waaay to much t.v., I'm talking, on in the morning at probably 7:30 til about 10:30 then on again when I'm cooking supper, and then who knows when else.  Yes.  Its a lot.  And I'm just trying to be honest here, cause I have no secrets, and I want you I have a list of reasons/excuses that I've allowed this atrocity.
-I was sick/pregnant.
-We were remodeling our old house and needed them out of the way.
-We were packing our old house and I needed them out of the way and accounted for.
-I was losing my mind and needed to drink my coffee without someone in my face.
-I was pregnant and put on "restricted activity" because of pre-term contractions, and I was too lazy to lead romper room in the house, and going anywhere caused contractions, so well..., oh well..
-We were unpacking our new house and I needed them out of the way.
-It was too hot to play outside and I couldn't find any quiet "indoor" toys/activities for them to play with.
-It wasn't too hot to play outside, but we found ourselves infested with "Cicada Killer Wasps" in the back yard, and front yard. (google it, they are creepy and scary and when I say six inch wasp, that kills cicada's and then drags them into a whole in the ground, you'll understand).
-I had a baby, and didn't want to take him outside to supervise things when the wasps weren't hovering. (we lost our beloved fenced in back yard where I could shoo everyone out for a while).
-The sun was out.
-It was raining.
-I could only have one cup of coffee.
-I gave up.
-I pretty much gave up.  That summarizes it.
I gave up trying to be anything but a incubator and then wet nurse for a while there.  Well, I had enough, and I'm trying to get back on my 'a' game. So, today I said no t.v.!  B cried and whined, Q was ok with it, and J doesn't give a rip.  But the start to the morning was B.A.D.  The youngest boy had me up twice last night, which isn't horrible, but when you don't go to bed til midnight, two trips to his room was enough interruption to my sleep to get me so cranky this am.  It is mornings like these where I wish I could have my cup of coffee in my bed before anyone talks to me.  And this am, B was up in my face asking questions before I had a chance to wake up fully or even get out of bed.  I hate answering questions before coffee.
Then at the breakfast table, someone kept asking me if he could play the computer, if not, when, and why not?  This was about half way into my first cup of coffee, and I can't stand repeated questions when I'm fully awake, but in my half awake half cup status, I couldn't take it.  I blew up and ALMOST caved and almost turn it on , just for a half hour.  Please?  But I powered through, and prayed for strength to persevere.  And since then, I have to say, all is going ok.
So, since 8 this morning, we did the following.
-Played "bikes and scooters" in the rain...in their pj's.  (with raincoats on, I'm not that horrible of a mother;)
-Made our own playdough which was a huge hit.  The fun lasted about 2 hours.
-Ate lunch.
-Played legos.  And they're still at the lego playing at 2:30.  I've even helped with a lego plan for building a 4 car garage....
Fingers crossed, I hope this goes well.
 

Picture Pages

 The Bookends.  Oldest and Youngest. 

 Where I come from, love being part of a large family....

B.  Cute and silly, just the way I like 'em.

Ugga Mugga Daniel Tiger

I will give you a prize if you get the reference of my post title.

Hey, I had a baby a month ago!  All went well.  Daniel was born at 8:14am on July 5 as planned.  He was long and skinny, weighing in at 8lb 5oz, and 21 3/4" long.  My longest baby, but lightest.  He was so scrawny looking, I immediately wanted to feed him donuts and bacon to fatten him up.
He's so precious, and I'm so thankful for this baby.  He fits right in with the boys!  They all love him, even J, whom I was sure would try to scratch his eyes out the moment he saw Scott holding another baby.  (J had some jealousy over the bigger brothers).

At a day old.

At about 4 weeks.
Little man has my nose (complete with what we call the butt crack in it), and looks like it will be brown eyes for him!  He also has my furrowed brow.  Sorry dude.  Everyone will always ask you if you are pissed off...

He is probably the easiest part of my day at this point in life.  Feed, change diaper, cuddle, repeat.  Easy peasy.  There's no discipline involved or worrying if I'm ruining his life by letting him veg in front of the t.v. all day.  LOL.  This roller coaster has its moments, but I"m loving it.

Getting in Line for the Roller Coaster

I don't like roller coasters.  I avoid them.  In fact, I don't really love amusement parks, there are very few rides I enjoy.  I'm thinking this is because I'm a control freak, and don't like the feeling of being out of control, at all.  I also do not like sledding, fast boats (unless I'm water skiing behind one), motorcycles and when Scott decides to drive like a crazy person on an humpty dumpty road.  
However, every time I've been to an amusement park, some friend of mine convinces me that a certain roller coaster isn't "that bad", and I will love it, and I succumb to the peer pressure and reluctantly get in line.  When I first get in line, I'm having a fun time with my friend(s), and and enjoying my self, but as I get closer in line as it snakes around the turn styles and such, the panic and fear begins to overcome me.  What on earth was I thinking?  I hate roller coasters!  Why am I doing this?  And, if I bail out now, will I be laughed at?  These all pass through my mind as I get closer and closer to my turn on the ride.  I have come to the conclusion that my fear of looking like a wimp is greater than my fear of the dreaded roller coaster, because every time this has happened to me, I've gone through with it and gotten on the roller coaster.  I wish I had video of my roller coaster response, because its awesome.  And would win me a million dollars on America's Funniest Home Videos.  
I'm not sure which is worse, the anxiety of the anticipation when getting on the ride, or that dreadful feeling of that clickety clackety ascend up the first hill, or that slow motion drop at the apex of the hill to the first dreadful descend.  Ugh, thinking about it, makes me ill.  And I can actually recall each and every one of the roller coasters I've been on, its flashing through my head as I type.  I hate it.
Well, I'm having that type of feeling right now as I await my c-section on Thursday.  I want to get out of line. Its not that I don't want this baby, or look forward to meeting him.  But I am so anxiety filled about what the ascend and descend of what this roller coaster of mommy hood will bring me. Will I get to breathe that sigh of relief at the end and feel all proud of myself that I did it-- like it is when I get on a real roller coaster?!  (Does that every come with parenthood, I don't think so).   I'm scared.  So scared.  I know I don't have it in me to do it.  But I'm in line for the roller coaster, and there's no getting out of line, I just have to get on and strap in and hold on to whoever is next to me, digging my nails into their arm as I make weird noises on the crazy drops and turns and loopy loops.
Some moments, I get overwhelmed in these thoughts of "I cannot do this".  And in Kate fashion, I shut down and give up.  Then Scott brings me a whopper jr and a smoothie and I'm back in the game for another day.  Other times, which are amazing, when I get these terrible anxious feelings, I'm reminded of all that God is.  My Helper, my refuge, my father, provider.  And I remember all of how He as so recently taken care of me, the house, the move, and lots of other amazing gifts and things I've witnessed God do, and I think this thought.  "I certainly cannot do this.  I DON"T have it in me, BUT I have God as my strength and my all, and its not going to be easy and/or fun, but I will get through it. And if I trust Him and rely on Him, I'll not only get through it, but I'll actually bear fruit if I remain in HIM."

Overwhelmed

What do you do when you get overwhelmed at the sheer thought of the scheduled happenings in the next couple of days to the coming month?   Do you start planning and work the plan?  That sounds smart and reasonable.  Or are you like me, do you start eating sugar, mope around the house, sit on your butt and complain about things?  I get overwhelmed, then I shut down.  Ugh.   I'm shutting down.  I still have so much packing to do, the movers come tomorrow, am I packing?  nope.  blogging.  Makes perfect, logical sense.  Right?  Right.
I need my magic wand to wave and magically appear at our new house all unpacked and organized and ready for baby. But I think I packed the want already, and I can't find it.
Know what else overwhelms me.  The fact that the mortgage company is STILL emailing my husband for details on our financial status.  The question on Friday was, "how long has  your wife been a homemaker?".  Yesterday, we got an email saying to expect a call from the credit check company so we can provide a 12 month history of our current mortgage company.  What?! We are supposed to settle on Thursday!  Thursday!  And don't you think you would have checked that out when we originally applied for the mortgage over a month ago?  actually, More than six weeks ago?  It makes me nervous to say the least that they are still questioning us at this point. (We have been pre-approved, approved and given a mortgage commitment letter, but still, the questions--overwhelming).
Know what else overwhelms me.  The fact that our buyers realtor just yesterday emailed to see who performed the radon test and wants to know if it was done my a licensed contractor.  Yesterday.  We emailed that info to him over six weeks ago, and he's just asking questions now?  If they're not going to be happy with what they find, what do you think will happen between now and Thursday. I'm ready to buy a pound of Swedish fish and vegetate, or hibernate, or  crawl in a hole somewhere, and not come out of it. Ever.
The end.

Systematic Desensitization (in which I talk a lot about vomit).

As a former behavior analyst/therapist, I know what systematic desensitization is, and how it works.  Its a form of therapy to treat overt fears by gradually and systematically exposing you to your fear until you no longer fear it (or freak out about it).
Well, I think God has been using this method on me and my fear of stomach viruses.
Back Story:
When Q was just a baby, he got the rotovirus which was a terrible horrible experience.  Like 10 days of vomiting and diarrhea and he stopped eating maybe 3 days into it.  Awful.  And the main reason I will never refuse the new rotovirus vaccine.  But anyway, since then, anytime anyone mentions that they've had a stomach virus, or so-and-so has had a stomach virus, I go into panic mode.  Not leaving the house for unessential things, or not leaving the kids in child care at church.  Because church, as much as I love my church, is a breeding ground for germs.  I can predict illness by Tuesday if we've been to church on a Sunday.  Its predictable, just a given.  But I will sit up at night and obsess about hand sanitizer and panic about JD getting sick.  (cause I can deal with the big boys getting it).  I will count days between 'exposure' and try and predict when it the stomach bug will fall among us.  And seriously, will not sleep at night thinking I heard someone puke...its fun.
Or I should say, I used to do all  this, until recently.

Back in December, when we found out we were expecting #4, I remember thinking to myself, ohhhh man, what will it be like to have 6 people have a stomach bug in one house.  It would take a whole month for it to run its course!  Oy.  The drama that occurred in my imagination thinking about that.  Well, God's systematic desensitization began soon after that.  No lie, beginning a week after Christmas our whole family except me, got the world's worst stomach bug.  Scott and JD ended up in the E.R. for fluids thanks to dehydration.  And since then, I swear to you, someone in our house has gotten a stomach bug at least 2 times a month.  Which is ridiculous.  Back in January, I thought ok, good, at least we've gotten the dreaded pukes out of the way.  Because I recalled, we normally only get one or two stomach things a year.   HA!  No lie, twice a month, at least.  I should have written it down.  Its been an epic sick season, which still is going on in MAY!  (I had it last weekend).  But darn if the repeated exposure of me to vomit hasn't done wonders for my fear/obsession.  I no longer freak about it, dread it or obsess about it each time one of my children gets sick.   The repetition of illness in my house has made me numb to it, and not a freakazoid, thank God.  Really, it was bad.  And now I'm better at dealing with it, and lastly, my older kids are almost pros at being sick.  The last time Q was sick 2 weeks ago, I was in the hospital being monitored.  Scott woke up late and found the bathroom rearranged, (no floor mats), and the linen closet had been 'disturbed'.  When he came downstairs, he found Q in the the basement, with towels laid out on the couch and floor, with the bucket by him.  He had taken care of himself...(But you know if I were home, he'd have awaken me).  And thankfully, all these illness have stretched themselves out so not everyone is sick at the same time.  (well, expect for the first bout which sent 2 of them to the E.R.).

So, how's that for making lemonade out of lemons?  Yes, repeated exposure to illness has made me less fearful, and neurotic and all around just awesome.  ;)

Post Much

I haven't been posting much because blogger doesn't like my web browser anymore and wanted me to try google chrome to get blogger to work.  Well, I hate it when someone tries to pull a fast one on me like that, and resisted.  I was contemplating not blogging anymore, because who has time for meaningless drivel, to write it or read it.  Certainly not me.  But I find it cathartic sometimes, and lets just face it, the stuff that happens to me,--the world must know about! 

Well, I downloaded me the google chrome, and I must say, its slow and I don't like it, but I will use it to blog.  Maybe.  For now, at least.  Also, I have to complain about one more thing about blogger.  I hate commenting on other blogger blogs now, because they make you do TWO words now for verification, and I can barely read the words and it pisses me off.  But everything pisses me off these days.  

But lots has been happening in our house lately!

Lets see where to begin.

Well, we will not be homeless come June 14 when we sell our house.  God found us a home.  And a mighty fine home it is.  I say its God who found it, because it wasn't our realtor!  I like our realtor, somedays.  Most days.  But she was stressing me out big time.  We had a house that we looked at during the first round of house hunting that would somewhat work for us, but Scott did not love it.  I did, but the basement wasn't what he was looking for, and he couldn't finish it, so we never pursued it.  It sat in our minds as our back up plan.  I didn't want the back up plan because I wanted Scott to be happy about our new home.  Anyway, we looked for over a month, and placed bids on 3 homes which were not accepted for various reasons.  Main reasons were though, because the houses were new on the market and over priced and not prepared to deal with us.  One was freaked out by our settlement date that was 60days out.  So before we decided to settle for our back up plan, we decided to hit one last Sunday of open houses.  I was not optimistic because we had seen everything in our price range, but agreed anyway as a last ditch effort.  

We saw our new house simply because I knew where it was and knew it was an empty house (and that they would agree to a quick closing).  When I saw how much it was I didn't think there was a chance we would buy it.  But after a conversation with the listing agent that was there that day, I decided to flat out ask if she thought our best offer would have a chance at buying the house.  She told me "off the record" that she would encourage her client to seriously consider it.   I told Scott that after we left.  But the house didn't leave me with a lasting impression.  I knew it was big, and would meet our needs, but there's nothing fancy about it.  Just lots of space and a finisihable basement. No new kitchen.  Not even central air! (what??).  The next day, Scott told me he couldn't stop thinking about that house, and that we should put in an offer.  I was taken aback about that.  So we did put an offer in.  And like ever other offer we put in, I started to panic about it.  But later I prayed.  Prayed that I knew God had our needs and wants in his vision and that if this were the place he wanted us, that the sellers would accept our bid without a counter offer.  Our offer was considerably under their asking price.  But 2 days later, my realtor called and said "You got the house without any counter offer."  I think my words were "No sh*t.!?" (classy, and Christian like huh?).   

Again, I began to panic about money.  And prayed again that God would somehow put my mind at ease and give me peace that this was indeed a gift from Him.  And God does not fail.  Within minutes of praying that, Scott called me and told me he got a name of a different mortgage broker who would give us another 1/4% off the interest rate of our loan (which was a big difference), and God has shown himself in many more details in this home buying procedure.   I am thankful, and in awe of his generosity. 

So, if all goes well, we will be moving on up and into our new home on June 15.  That is if I don't go into labor (another fun story behind that statement), or go crazy in the process of packing, dealing with my dad (another story), or dealing with stomach viruses (viri?).  

Yes its been a while.  Maybe I'll get caught up.

They Call Him "Crusher."

I have written before that Q is a baseball fan. This year, Tee Ball has become a sort of nemesis for me. Its longer, and he has two games a week, plus practice some weeks, and its much more of a commitment than I like. But he loves it, and fortunately, Scott loves it too and takes him to most practices and games. Because Q's birthday is the cut off for most age brackets, he tends to be the youngest or oldest in his activities. He's the youngest in his first grade class, but he's the oldest on his tee ball team. So being the oldest, I think gives him an advantage on the tee ball field. Now, please understand, I am an extremely competitive person. Watching 5 and 6 year olds play tee ball is somewhat painful for me. Because Q is such a fan, and older, he is VERY focused on the game. When I watch the other players, pick their noses and day dream in the field,
I want to run out there and yell, "baseball ready!!!" and direct/coach them myself. For t
he love of all that is right and good, "PAY ATTENTION TO THE GAME!". I am going to be that crazed mom in the bleachers that gets kicked out of the game for arguing with the umpire. I can feel it coming. Or my favorite, when a player is standing on base and the ball gets hit and they sit there, argh, I digress... I haven't been to a game of Q's for a while, because taking all the kids to the game to watch Q play is, lets just say, difficult, I usually stay home with J. So Saturday, wanting to be supportive and wanting to sit on my butt for 2 hours, I asked Scott if he would watch B and J so that I could attend. I settled in my camp chair under a shady tree and watched Q play, and as always, it was entertaining. But one thing that made me smile was, his coach and teammates, call Q, "crusher'. They never refer to him by name, just 'Crusher'. Now, if you have seen Q lately, this nickname would make you laugh. Lets just say, the kid needs to eat more. He's tall and skinny. Falling in step after my dad and brother. But when he got up to bat, I found out why. The kid can hit! Tee ball is now coach pitch and if they don't hit off 5 pitches they move to the tee. Most kids can hit from the coach (who, by-the-way, needs some coaching in pitching), and Q is no exception. But dude, Q can hit! He does crush it! Like, into the outfield. And a weird thing happened to me. I started getting all prideful and started daydreaming about his future as a star baseball player. I promise I will not become that mom that thinks her kid is the best and wants special treatment. I'll try at least, not to be like that.

What THEY'VE Been Up To

So, its been a while since I posted anything about the boys.
An update is in order...
Q:
Now has a two tooth wide gap in the front of his teeth. He looks so cute! The tooth fairy "forgot" for the first tooth (some slack must be given to the tooth fairy, she was dealing with a vomiting kid or something of the sorts), but when she remembered, she paid well. He lost the other top tooth at school today. They gave him a little treasure chest to carry it home in. BUT, he lost the tooth on the walk to the nurses office from his class. He's bummed. He's back into Tee ball. This is a painful thing for me. They play 5 innings this year, and twice as many games, and they're all at dinner time. It dawned on me that I better plan to get each kid interested in a different sport so I'm not driving 4 boys to different games and practices in one season. Maybe one of them will be nerdy and like choir?? or band?

B:
Has decided he hates school, and protests much on the two school days. I think next year I will not send him to preschool. Its partially too because I don't want to drag J and a baby in for drop off time and pick up. Anywhoo...
He's four now. He enjoys everything Q does, is quite moody, but is very affectionate and sweet. He reminds me a lot of myself, in that he wears his emotions on his sleeve, and does not hold back much of his opinion. Which just means when he is happy about something he declares it loudly and proudly. I don't need to go into the negative that comes along with that. You get it. He is a chatter box and will talk your ear off. He is a good and adventurous eater still. He'll try about any type of food, unless it smells bad.

J:
Oh J baby. When will you talk? This kid does not really talk, but the weird thing is, he can mimic melodies and tones. Like, he can hum/dum de dum the tune of "Shave and a hair cut", and he can return a call when Q does it. Its hard to explain without a demonstration. He can also sort of repeat a scale to me, like if I sing "DO, Re, MI", he gets the "Do" with the d sound, but re, mi, fa, sol, la, ti all sound like 'ma'. He says "thank you" sort of the way you might if your mouth is full. And he calls us all by 'name' if your name is Mama! Like if he's playing with B, he'll say Mama in a way that sorta sounds like B's name. Weird I know. Q is a one syllable "ma". He's a lover of the outdoors, and I love that I have a fenced back yard. The second I step out front, he's running toward the street. What's up with that? He eats ok some days, not awesome on others. He will throw food on the floor immediately if he doesn't like it. That's my favorite about him. Not.
He can do hand-motions to songs, which is super cute. And he enjoys injuring his brothers. Which makes me laugh (because sometimes they have it coming), but at the same time, I'm worried that that little behavior will carry over to church nursery. Watch out!
Baby:
Well, I don't spend much time thinking about this baby at all. Sorry little dude. I still love you. I'm just so busy. I feel pretty good. I sleep pretty good for now. In fact, last night, I fell asleep and woke up at 6am in the same position ( I didn't have to flip over a thousand times!!). I was dead tired though.
We haven't discussed names at all. I haven't even thought about where I'm going to get a second crib and dresser yet. I have time. It cracks me up when I hear about all those first timers who have their nurseries all painted and set up by now (I'm almost 7 months). I'll be doing it when we move, if we get to move in time for babycakes!
He is an active baby. And has caused my nose to spread, my arms to get fat and a nice red rash to appear on my nose and chin. I think the rest of me is fat too, but I think that is my own doing. I'm a stress eater. I've been eating a lot, and a lot of easter junk.

So that's it. No new housing news. Oh except that the house appraised at value! God is good!!

I do not like house buying procedures.

I love buying cars. And haggling. When buying said car. I like the game. But dude, when it comes down to the house selling and purchasing process, I don't like it. I don't get it. And the words "closing costs" put me in a tizzy. I hate hate hate, the closing cost worksheet. It freaks me out. And I happen to like to have my head buried in the sand when it comes to knowing or not knowing what our taxes are, and what escrow is and all that happy horse pucky. Ya know, since we've been doing the Dave Ramsey thing, and I work with a cash budget, I'm very much at peace with our financial situation. But all this talk about mortgage payments and such, makes me panicked. I don't like it, and now I feel like, I'll be happy to stay in our little home, with the new kitchen and bath, and just suck it up. I don't like this process. I also don't like making big decisions. Like if we get this house, we'll be house poor for a while, but its everything we'll need. But if we get this other house, we won't be house poor, BUT we'll need to replace every major appliance in the next couple of years, and have to put a lot of other work into it.
I don't like decisions. Nor DIY home improvement projects. Nor Negotiations. Nor Realtors. Or crazy home owners/sellers.

In efforts not to seem negative:
I DO LIKE:
-3 day old stale Peeps. (fresh ones are too soft and smushy)
-Jelly Beans
-My family
-When J likes to eat what I made for dinner and can't get enough of it. There's such satisfaction in it for me.
-Toothless 6 year olds who keep me informed on how great and all knowing God is. Just two seconds ago, Q reminded me that God knows how many raindrops there are and how many hairs we have on our head. It was just enough of a reminder to know that God KNOWS our situation and what is best for us. I have to take peace in that. That through this process of finding a home, God has already got it under control.

How Good is God?

I had several people praying for a fast sale of our home. Well, we officially went 'on the market' on Thursday, by Sunday we had an offer on the table, and last night we signed our agreement of sale! How's that for fast?We still have some hairy details to wait on and settlement isn't until June, but praise God!
We are specifically praying now that our home will appraise for the sale amount. (which it is entirely possible it won't and then I think we will pull out of the sale). I go back and forth about being in a panic about it. During the day, I tell myself that God has it under control and that I have faith that it will go smoothly. But being the ever positive person that I am, never thinking of all that could go wrong, HA!--My dreams tell me how much anxiety I have over the sale I have. Last night, all of my fears played out in my dreams. I dreamt that the house didn't appraise, and Scott left me. LOL. Gotta love your subconscious.

But anyway, Thank you God for the first step being completed so quickly! Thank you for your continued blessings.

Well, What's Up?

Not much. I have been busy cleaning and cleaning. Then my Realtors came over and messed my house up, moving things around to take pictures, and then didn't put them back the right way. Which only annoyed me a little. Well, a more than a little. Especially when they moved the area rugs and disturbed the dirt that lived and bred underneath them. Same thing with my bed and nightstands. Stuff grows under there. I seriously vacuumed under and behind my bed, but these nasty dust bunnies multiply faster than a rate of real bunnies, and more appeared when they came, causing me embarrassment. But I digress.
We haven't done much but purge, clean, re-do, and move things to our storage unit for the last month or so. I haven't talked to people on the phone much or blogged, or do much of anything else and I'm tired. Phyicially tired.
The house 'should' be on the market today or tomorrow. Just waiting to hear from my realtor, who has mysteriously not called me back for a two days now...hmm. I'm a little anxious to see the pictures they took of our place to see if I even recognize it. I know they photo shop things for the Internet, so I'm interested to see what they did to make our house look sell able.
Yo, and Realtors are a funny bunch. Super positive about the house one second, then nit pick about the color of my throw rugs at the front and back doors. Really, you want me to buy a floor mat and lamp shade because they are the wrong color? Puh-lease. When we bought this house the deck was green with mold, the fence was falling down, the basement had no carpet and they listed it as a fourth bedroom, and the entire family was IN the house when we walked through it. Including this beast of a dog that smelled. But we looked past that and saw the gem we have come to call home. So you can look past the floor mats that may be a 'little dark', oh and the horrid red color on our hallway walls(which I didn't hate enough to ever paint), and our dark basement (which we painted dark to give us a cozy feeling and Scott's dream of a manly room, but whatev.) If you can't look past paint, then don't go house shopping. Granted, I know we bought in a crazy market where people would have bidding wars at the open house, and bid over asking prices, but really. Paint is paint. And I will take my dark floor mats with me when we leave. Thank you.
Anyway, I'm a little bit cranky. Can you tell.
Real Estate has to be a fascinating business. I love the psychology behind things in marketing, and I feel like Realtors really think they know how a person's mind works when it comes to buying a house. I just must not be a typical buyer. Because when they tell me how they plan to attract buyers by reducing the price on our house by $1,500 every 7 days, I'm like, "that would just make me think something is wrong with the place, and what's $1,500 when it comes down to a mortgage of much more than that?" But they assure me, its worked for them. I'll have to trust you, cause the last time I sold a house was, um, never.
So that's what's up. Aren't you glad you asked?
Did I mention I was cranky?

The End is Near...

However, its just the beginning.
The kitchen just needs touch up work. Like paint touch up and caulk. And then I just need to purge and clean a little bit more inside, then we have some yard work to do and we're done. I'm not sure Scott and I are on speaking terms right now, but the end of the endless home improvements is almost here. We have a date for the realtor to come out and take pictures and list this place for Friday.
Whereas that date signifies we are done, it also signifies the beginning of me actually keeping a clean house ready for perspective buyers. Something that I'm sure will actually kill me. But I think I'm recalling me actually praying for God to make me a more organized and structured mom. This just may be his way of answering that prayer. People, be careful what you pray for...

Please Save Me From My Kitchen

I'm working with a toaster oven, and coffee pot. What can one make for dinner in a toaster oven and that's it. I'm sick of take out, going out is worse...
Help!
There are glimpses of hope that its almost done. But punch list items are the worst. The little details like, trim being painted, and the under counter lights installed. I won't mention that initially Scott told me this all could be completed in a long weekend (president's day to be exact). But I know his time estimating skills for home improvements are always off. Like when he says he needs two hours to change the brakes and oil on his car, I can count on a whole 8 hours. Scott has this curse that has been laid upon him. If it can go wrong, it will, if the person before him left out a step, he will correct it, and if it needs a special tool, he won't have it, and will have to run to the store approximately 9 times and begin cursing (my cue to leave town with the kids). And all this has happened to him with this kitchen thing, except the people who put in the old tile floor did such a great job, it was impossible to get the floor up and took 3 times longer than expected to remove it.

And please please please pray that all this work is worth it. Like, have our house sell at the first open house. I told the realtor that I know that selling quickly is unlikely, but that we have a God that can make it happen!

I Fished What I Wished!

So baby #4 is another boy! And I am delighted! Not that I would hate a girl baby, I just fear girls. I was one (or I am one), and I was not easy on my mom. But anyway.
We are excited, the boys especially. Q specifically said, "at first I wanted a sister, but then I figured something out. You have to play girl things with girls, and I don't want to do that. Like, tea party and dolls." I laughed at that. I do have pipe dreams of watching all my men play hockey in the driveway, and dragging everyone to every one's sporting events. I can't wait!

We do not have a name. We won't have a name. Cause you know how Scott is. I will wait for him to come down from the mount with a perfect name about 2 days after this baby is born. I did tell him though, the name HAS to end with a letter 'n' cause we can't have 3 with 'n' ending names and then a Bob, Fred, or Jehosephat. People will just know we gave up! Haha.

DIY Without Divorce

About a month ago, we received Scotts February issue of Handyman Magazine. I happen to love this magazine. There are "great goofs" on the back page, where people write in about the dumb things they've done while diy'ing. Its funny, but not my point here.
Well, in February's issue, one of the main title's read "DIY Without Divorce". I laughed. It had all sorts of suggestions from readers and experts on how to avoid fighting while working on construction projects around the house. Some of them were funny. There is always one guy that just says, "Learn how to say 'yes dear' and give your wife whatever she wants." I hate that. But anyway. It was quite appropriate timing. We are in the midst of some DIY projects here. Like every weekend, something is on Scott's list. This past weekend was the kitchen.

Initially, we intended to redo the entire kitchen, like gut it and start over with new cabinets and granite counter top, new light fixtures and the like. Well, after shelling out a ton of cash in December for a new furnace and not getting as much back as we thought for our tax return (yes we already have it!!Thank you free turbo tax online!), we have had to re-think our kitchen makeover.
The thing about DIY that brings me to fight with Scott, is the decision making processes, and the multiple trips to Home Depot to pick out materials. I hate this job with a passion. In fact, speaking of passion, we did this very event on Valentine's Day with all three kids in tow. It was enough to want to make my head explode. At least I was rewarded with Chinese food later! After that, I told Scott I didn't want to be involved in anymore decisions. Seriously, I didn't want to pick out the hardware or grout color or whatever. I was done! So my man took over and wouldn't even let me see his choices.
This weekend Scott scrapped up the old tile floor which was pink, and put down a new one and re-painted the cabinets, and put in new pulls and knobs. Easy, he thought, and I thought. Something that could be accomplished rather quickly. HA! Wrong. Because we have a small house and 3 kids and actually need use of a kitchen, I had to vacate the premises for the weekend to let him get it done. And he did a great job, worked his butt off. My least favorite part of doing it yourself, is the clean up aspect (mainly cause its my job to do that), and that Scott works so hard I feel guilty. Cause while at my mom's this weekend, I didn't have to cook, and clean up and I got to go out for dinner with a friend!. It was nice, but the guilt sets in later.
It turns out, ripping up a tile floor is seriously labor intensive and installing one, equally intensive. I guess that's why people get charged thousands of dollars for the installation of one, when the tiles aren't that expensive. Scott has claimed he will never do it again. I returned home to this, and a house COVERED in dust. Its everywhere, in the bedrooms, on all the dishes and floors. And the dust in the kitchen doesn't come off cause it has mixed with the layer of greese and has to be washed off of everything. We will be getting a granite counter top and maybe a new back splash, but I'm feeling we won't do that cause I think Scott is over tiling.

On a positive note, the cabinets look nice and the floor looks awesome. But its not done, and I have to vacate with the kids AGAIN. Which sucks, even though I had an OK time this last time. The problem is, that J doesn't sleep well when we are away and its always a tough time for him at night, and i worry he'll wake the whole house.

And on a side note: we have our big ultrasound tonight to see what type of baby dwells in my uterus. I'm praying all is healthy with this baby. I always fear the worst with this. I will keep you posted.

I've been busy.

I've been up to my eyes in poo. Really. I'll spare you the details. But 2 out of 5 of our immediate family members have been to the E.R. for i.v. fluids and its been so fun!
When B recovers from any illness, he is a bear. Truly. Scott and I both want to hang him by his toenails. Thankfully he is a cute thing, and must know that he's being a tush pain and when he does this, he's always randomly coming up to me "Mama, I want to kiss you. Or I want to sit in your lap."

J has been sick for a week. He has also been a very laid back, easy going thing while sick. After getting fluids on Saturday though, he's back to himself and scratching and hitting and not easily entertained. But I'm thankful the little devil in him is back. It was sad seeing him so peaceful and calm. LOL.
He still has symptoms of the stomach bug, and now has croup on top of it, but he's happier. So I"ll take it.

Next week I'll be writing about my 10 day long vacation to some place warm and tropical which I will take without permission and go by-myself.

Lawrence Welk and Other Stuff

My favorite part of the day is both nap time and bed time for J. Not because he is out of my hair for a clip of time, but because it is our snuggle time, and I looove it. I pick him up, close the shades and the door to his room, hand him his blanket and like a well trained Pavlovian dog, he instantly puts his soft little head on my shoulder. I then stand next to his crib and sing him some songs and then drop his sweet little bean into his crib and off to dream land he goes. My heart warms each time I get to put him to bed. (please remind me of this in 6 months when he turns on me and hates to be put to bed, or starts demanding 'one more song' till I rue the day when I started this bed time routine.). But right now, I love it. My standard repertoire of lullabies is just that, standard. Jesus loves me, Moon Moon Moon, God is So Good, Jesus Loves the Little Children. All songs I've sung to all of my babes. Well, for some reason the other night, the closing song from the Lawrence Welk Show popped into my head, and I sang that. Yes, Lawrence Welk. I'm laughing as I type it.
All of my grandparents had a strange addiction to this show. No matter where we were, our house, their house, some strangers house, a hospital, or nursing home bed, when it hit 7pm on a Sunday evening, they all had one request. "Hey Katie, go turn on the T.V. and see if Lawrence Welk is on." And most likely it would be. So this song is forever burned in my brain (which is largely musical, I remember words from songs from 7th grade better than current ones). "Good night, sleep tight, and pleasant dreams to you. Here's a wish, and a prayer that all your dreams come true...." Its a nice song. J likes it.
But all this to say, after singing this song to him on Sunday night, Monday evening I sat down to watch some DVR shows. And don't you know at the very top of my DVR list was the Lawrence Welk Show! For real. Three things strike me about this discovery.
A. The Lawrence Welk Show is STILL on. On Sunday nights.
B. Who is messing with me? I didn't DVR it. Scott didn't, and I'm sure the kids wouldn't hit record on a show like that. (I still think Scott must have heard me sing that song and DVR'd it just to mess with me, but I'm pretty sure if he heard that song, he wouldn't know it was from LW.)
C. Why would that song pop in my head, and then LW show up on my DVR the next day. Weird. I'm sure a psychic palm reader would say my Grandparents are trying to get my attention.

And in other random weird things that have happened in my home,

-B ate a spinach salad last night for dinner. Seriously, I was eating mine, and he was like, "can I have a leaf?" Sure. Then he proceed to mooch the rest of mine and Scott's and eventually, I made him his own spinach salad with balsamic vinaigrette.

-J is walking. And has been somewhat happy, which is weird. But nice.

-I've had two productive days in a row. Which hasn't happened in lets say, 10 weeks or so. I cleaned out the boys closet and room, which was a two day job, made dinner 3 nights in a row, and went grocery shopping AND did laundry. Is it a full moon?
Since being pregnant, I haven't had any motivation to do anything at all for a while now.

And that is all.

I blame you.

Truth: I wasn't expecting to be expecting. But I'm getting excited about it.
Truth: I like to blame other people for things. Don't we all? Every time I'm faced with a difficult decision, I like to try and get someone else to make it for me, so I can blame them if I don't like the outcome.

So, in efforts to be humorous, I have composed a list as to who to blame for me being pregnant with number 4. (I'm just kidding, so no lectures...)
So, I blame...

1. Jedidiah. Look at him, he's delicious and he gave me baby fever.

2. My father-in-law. He actually told me back in the summer, point blank, "You have really great kids, you don't need anymore." My rebellious nature subconsciously made me want to have 10 more kids, just to see what he'd to say.

3. Shay. Back in September/October, after I had told her that I had given away or sold most of my baby stuff, she told me I would be pregnant before Thanksgiving.

4. Apparently, selling one's baby stuff is a recipe for a baby.

5. Scott. Cause no list would be complete if I didn't blame him.

6. Janet. Cause she keeps saying things like, I really wish you had a girl. And all the other people that keep saying I need a little girl. Not that I know I'm having a girl, but even strangers keep asking me if I'm trying for a girl (this was before I was pregnant, in fact, I think someone asked me this on the c-section table when J was born.)

Should I blame you too?;)

Let the Madness Begin.

Actually, the madness has already begun in my house. It happened maybe 3 years ago when B was born. When you have one kid, everything is so controllable and easy (even if you didn't think it was, and were about to lose your mind every afternoon waiting for hubby to get home). Then you add another one, and it doesn't seem that bad when the second is a baby. But then you find yourself with TWO bigger kids that make messes, and say to yourself, wow! This is boring stuff, I need to add another to make life REALLY interesting. And you do. And the baby is so cute and easy to deal with, but then something happens. That cute, sweet, innocent baby turns one and someone snatches him away in his sleep and replaces him with a one year old, that looks just like the cute, sweet model. But you KNOW its not the same kid. Cause instead of smiling at you sweetly, he is now this scratching at you, chasing you around the kitchen, whining to be picked up-kid. The instant you pick him up he's smacking you in the face and wants to be put down. He's all the sudden in seek and destroy mode, and pulls the corner bead molding off the wall, throws toys and bites the older brothers, and is no longer happy-ever. And the madness continues. He is the 2011 Mess Maker Model. He is determined to win the fastest mess maker award. Tearing through kitchen cabinets at lightening speed. He refuses to eat dinner and throws the food on the floor, which is enough to make you want to do things that are not well, acceptable.
And then you think (or maybe you don't)that you need more excitement in your life and find yourself adding to the madness by adding a 4th mess maker into the mix.

Yes, for anyone that doesn't know. We are expecting a fourth baby. In July. And I refuse to think about what life will look like in 6.5months. I'm just trying to get through today, and will not think past dinner time. It works better that way. And just so you know, I wasn't trying for the girl. I'm not sure if a girl would make things better or worse. Ha! For the record, I always wanted all boys, and 4 kids. (but to be totally honest, this was before I even had any kids). But let the madness begin, or rather continue. Ha.

We have started preparations this weekend for the list of things that we need to do in order to sell our house. And it brings out the best side of my husband who, loves lists and getting things done. He is a slave driver! (Don't tell him I said that, but he's a focused individual on the to-do list and I am far from that, and it creates a fun environment!) There is something for him which involves a deadline and a to-do list which creates a machine. I'm guessing its a lot like his old work routine.

Anyway. I'm confident that God will provide the skills it will take for me to manage 4 kids and my sanity. Doesn't He always? If I rely on Him and not me, it will be okay.

Its the season!

I have probably written a post like this every year...
Since December 18th, our family has been living under the cloud of illness. I'm ready for everyone to be healthy and happy, but I know that this is winter and this is what happens. I'm handling it better than I have in previous years, but I'm needing to see my friends again, and to get out of the house to do more than run an errand. We have had the gamut of virus things, hacking coughs, fevers, stomach bugs and strep throat, all in the last 3 weeks. Thank you, I've had my fill.
My dad is still hospitalized, now having seizures and out of control blood sugar, still disoriented. But when I saw him yesterday, he was a bit more awake and knew my name which I am considering is a good sign.
Please pray that things improve with him. And that we have fulfilled our quota of virus suffering for a month and are spared for a while!