Sometimes, I get a little on my high horse about how well I'm handling things. And then something happens and am humbled. For instance:
Scott was away this past weekend and I decided, since I was such a great household manager, that I'd paint the powder room while he was gone. You know, to show him (and maybe myself), that I can totally cope and then some, when he's not around. I was going to surprise him. Well, I got my paint, trimmed and did the first coat on friday night, and was feeling pretty proud. Saturday nite I was to do touch ups and clean up. I got the paint poured into the tray that night, and feeling oh so confident and proud (and looking forward to being done in less than an hour so I could watch some girl t.v.) then, promptly threw up. It came on instantly, and I was totally debilitated. AND to make matters worse, I broke out in hives, and HAD to call my mom to come rescue me, incase I was totaled for the night and the kids got up. If you know me, I HATE calling my mom to help. Its admitting defeat, and a total pride breaker. Gasp.
Saturday, I was also successful in getting the big boys to help me shovel the driveway and walk, and then made it out to get Valentine's for school parties. We even had the Valentine's filled out on Saturday and assemebled and ready to go that night. Then, fast forward to today. I went to put B's into his back pack for his party today and they were no where to be found. I'm pretty sure I threw them away in my efforts to clear the island of paper clutter. When I'm 'decluttering' the island, I pretty much rant as I'm doing it, because I feel like i must do it 4 times a day! Its like a magnet for papers and toys. So I probably was disgusted at one point on Sunday or Monday or Tuesday and was just tossing things, and mistakenly tossed the box of valentines as well. poop. Or a two year old made off with them and hid them in the best of hiding spots (the trash can). This morning I was so dissapointed in myself that they were lost. Blah.
So much for doing things ahead of time (and yes, doing them 4 days ahead is probably a record breaker!). I ended up sending him in with odds and ends that I had to write his name on instead of his own 4 year old precious signature!
Yes, I'm a failure. I'll never have it together. And as dissapointing as that is, its what I need to figure out sometimes. As try as I might, I can't do it all, or be the best. I can't do anything to make God love me any more or any less. He loves me for my failures and successes. And its by HIS strength and grace that I can get up everyday and try to share that love and grace.
