Quite often I am overwhelmed. For about the last year I have been overwhelmed in a bad way. Like, how on earth will this family make it clothed, fed, and loved for another day. But lately, I've not felt that sort of overwhelmed. Lately, I've been overwhelmed with thoughts of how I'm never really lonely. How sweet and precious D is, and how I can't imagine life without him. Even though every time he empties a cabinet I want to scream, but then he looks at me and smiles so proud of himself, and I want to take a picture just to remember his cute little face. With the buck teeth. And muppet hair.
I'm overwhelmed with how affectionate B is, despite me just freaking out on him for something. He's always wanting a hug. With how loving J is with his little brother. Tells me he's HIS baby. With how Q loves to help B with his homework, or to teach a younger brother to play monopoly jr and helps him count the spaces and money correctly. Watching them all play anything outside makes me want to take a thousand pictures so I can't forget. With watching Scott throw a football with them, and chase them down to tackle them. How J laughs uncontrollably every time he has a football in his hand and runs. The look of sheer joy on Q's face when he actually catches a pass. And how dirty their knees get from getting tackled when wearing shorts. I cannot get their knees clean with all the soap and scrubbing. But I love that. I LOVE it when my boys come in filthy from playing outside. Always have.
How B gets so excited when it's an "off day" for everyone, "Yes! we can play!!" That kid loves to play. How J wakes up and tells me to put my jamma's back on. And how that boy potty trained himself in a day (boy was that a gift!).
I am so overwhelmed with the blessings that God has lavished on me. His love and grace. I don't deserve any of it. I take so much for granted. But I'm so thankful. Thankful for times of the good overwhelmed feelings that wash over me and make me smile.
