As cheesy as this saying is, it makes sense to me today. (It didn't a few weeks ago). I was whining to my bible study girls how anxious and crabby I get when my house is a mess, and I can't seem to get things done because I have little ones. And that I don't get to do all the things I want to...(I know don't you just want to slap me now?). One pointed out that this is just the season of my life to be a mom to little ones and that its OK to let those things go. And another lady added the whole "bloom where your planted" cliche to it. But darn it, it makes sense. I can't change where I am right now, and I don't want to. I love my little guys. I always wanted to have little boys and I got two of the cutest!! So I have to grow and thrive where I am, and not wish for a different circumstances. I can do things now for the Lord, just in a different way. I'm cool with that.
I feel like God is moving so much in my heart lately. Everyday, my eyes are opened to something new. I'm learning so much more about God, more about myself, my marriage, my relationships, its an awesome thing. There's a song on the radio (Klove) right now, I have no idea what the song is or who sings it, but there is a line in it that goes like this...
"I don't know what you're doing inside of me
It feels like chaos, but somehow there's peace."
That is exactly how I feel right now.
Sometimes though, with all this new stuff going on, I feel like I'm never going to get it all. In fact, today in the car, I was ranting to Scott about the budget stuff, and I feel so stupid, cause I can't remember how to do percentages (totally dumb, I know), or I can't do that....
Then Q chimes in "MOM! It says, I can do ALL things!" I shut my mouth so quickly.
(We have been working on him memorizing Phillipians 4:13). I was so amazed that God had used my 3 year old to speak to me in that moment. I have to remember not to forget the second part of that verse..."through Christ who strengthens me." Cause nope, I can't do anything by myself...just like John 15 says, "apart from me you can do NOthing!"
Saturday, January 31, 2009
Friday, January 30, 2009
Dude, I have a follower...
Love you Shay!!
Speaking of Shay, she nominated me for some sort of Lemonade award, and if I were cool and knew about these things or how to do anything cool on my blog, I'd somehow post it, but for now, I'll try to link her blog in my post...
I think that worked...and now for the picture of the award...
I think that worked too. and now for the award's description...
(So maybe I know a little more computer stuff than I thought).
The concept of the Lemonade Award is quite simple. It is all about finding people that display a great attitude and/or gratitude. In this day and time, that is very important to have. Once nominated, all you need to do is add the Lemonade Award logo to your blog and find 10 more bloggers to nominate. All of the rules are listed below."
Sadly, I do not have 10 people in my bloggy world to nominate, only cause I only know maybe 2, and Shay already beat me to it...but if I could, I'd nominate her too--again.
Thanks, I'm honored for receiving this award!!
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Its coming to get me.
I think the sickness is after me. Q has had a 102 fever for 4 days now, he had the most constant cough yesterday. I felt bad for him, I swear he couldn't go 30seconds without coughing. He did manage to get in a good nap yesterday. And then finally, we packed up in the car to get a smoothie from Sonic. I finally caved and gave him some Delsym cough syrup (and was surprised that the stuff actually works!). The doctors office refuses to recommend any sort of cold medicine, so I try not to medicate with anything besides Motrin or Tylenol. But he was so pathetic, I had to try something. He's not eating great, but that's typical for him when he gets sick.
B has got yucky eyes again, and I'm praying that he's the one that started this sickness business, and isn't getting the thing that Q has(cause Q's is definitely worse than B's cold started out).
Now this morning, after anticipating being up all night (and NO one woke up-YAY!), I feel all tingly, like my body is fighting something. And my throat is sore. NO! NO! NO! I don't want to be sick. Doesn't my body know that I'm the mom. I can't get sick. How do you watch a baby when you're sick and horizontal on the couch? Thankfully, the three year old can be watched by the electronic baby sitter, pretty effectively. And I can't call my mom to come help cause she had the nerve to go to Hawaii for 3 weeks!
Anywhoo...the weather is crappy. And I just called the ped's office, just to be the good mom and make sure I'm covering all the bases and they want me to bring Q in. UGH. At least we'll be getting out of the house.
In other news. I got to go to a Chris Tomlin concert on Friday night. It was great. I was very nervous about leaving my mom with 2 kids(not like she didn't have 4 kids of her own and couldn't handle it). And this was the first time she would put B to bed (cause he doesn't take a bottle, we've never tried this before). But everything went fine. We took the train up to Newark with another couple friends of ours and had really great seats at the concert. I didn't know I knew so many Chris Tomlin songs, but it turns out, our church praise band covers a lot of his music. Which brings me to another story.
Scott plays bass and guitar for our church praise band, and I'm glad he gets a chance to play. I think he likes it. Up until now, I've always gotten a little pissy to say the least, when the music director/pastor would call him up to sub for someone. For goodness sake, the music will not be effective if there is no bass on week. And certainly, the worship experience won't be effected, right? Well, I was wrong. There were a couple of times at the Chris Tomlin concert where the music overcame me, and I could feel God's presence. Its like the building of the music, and then when the bass comes in that you physically feel it. And without the bass, it'd definitely be missing something. So yes, if the bass weren't there the music would be different. So once again, God showed me something cool when I least expected it. And I learned that I shouldn't squelch Scott's gift by my pissy attitude and thoughts that he should be home with me and the kids on a Sunday morning before church. What does that really matter when you can be a part of the worship experience for someone else, using your gift and rocking out! I guess part of me is a little jealous too that he gets to do this while I wrestle children into clothing and coats and try and make it out the door. One day, I'll get my turn...its just right now, I'm called to be the mommy. And I need to 'bloom where I'm planted'. (more on that tomorrow, I hope.)
B has got yucky eyes again, and I'm praying that he's the one that started this sickness business, and isn't getting the thing that Q has(cause Q's is definitely worse than B's cold started out).
Now this morning, after anticipating being up all night (and NO one woke up-YAY!), I feel all tingly, like my body is fighting something. And my throat is sore. NO! NO! NO! I don't want to be sick. Doesn't my body know that I'm the mom. I can't get sick. How do you watch a baby when you're sick and horizontal on the couch? Thankfully, the three year old can be watched by the electronic baby sitter, pretty effectively. And I can't call my mom to come help cause she had the nerve to go to Hawaii for 3 weeks!
Anywhoo...the weather is crappy. And I just called the ped's office, just to be the good mom and make sure I'm covering all the bases and they want me to bring Q in. UGH. At least we'll be getting out of the house.
In other news. I got to go to a Chris Tomlin concert on Friday night. It was great. I was very nervous about leaving my mom with 2 kids(not like she didn't have 4 kids of her own and couldn't handle it). And this was the first time she would put B to bed (cause he doesn't take a bottle, we've never tried this before). But everything went fine. We took the train up to Newark with another couple friends of ours and had really great seats at the concert. I didn't know I knew so many Chris Tomlin songs, but it turns out, our church praise band covers a lot of his music. Which brings me to another story.
Scott plays bass and guitar for our church praise band, and I'm glad he gets a chance to play. I think he likes it. Up until now, I've always gotten a little pissy to say the least, when the music director/pastor would call him up to sub for someone. For goodness sake, the music will not be effective if there is no bass on week. And certainly, the worship experience won't be effected, right? Well, I was wrong. There were a couple of times at the Chris Tomlin concert where the music overcame me, and I could feel God's presence. Its like the building of the music, and then when the bass comes in that you physically feel it. And without the bass, it'd definitely be missing something. So yes, if the bass weren't there the music would be different. So once again, God showed me something cool when I least expected it. And I learned that I shouldn't squelch Scott's gift by my pissy attitude and thoughts that he should be home with me and the kids on a Sunday morning before church. What does that really matter when you can be a part of the worship experience for someone else, using your gift and rocking out! I guess part of me is a little jealous too that he gets to do this while I wrestle children into clothing and coats and try and make it out the door. One day, I'll get my turn...its just right now, I'm called to be the mommy. And I need to 'bloom where I'm planted'. (more on that tomorrow, I hope.)
Monday, January 26, 2009
Week 2 of Sickness
OK, I'm about ready to check myself into a hospital. No, not because I'm sick, but because everyone around me is STILL sick. B has this awful smokers cough (I told him to try the nicotine patch months ago!) Q has now come down with the same thing, only its accompanied by a 102.9 fever. And Scott continues on with his mysterious symptoms, now joint pain that seems to float around his body. I'm most worried about Scott right now...its just weird, I'm sure he'll be on an episode of Mystery Diagnosis soon (my fav show to watch on a Sunday afternoon and take a nap to). But they've all been to the doctor recently, and seem to be OK. When I was at the doctor with B, I asked her if the worry when they get sick gets any better. Cause I freak, what if its something off the wall, and they don't catch it in time... She told me it doesn't get any better. Great. But then, after spending the weekend in my TB ward, I got a dose of perspective via email.
A friend of mine from my old church emailed me to ask for prayers for my very dear friends who I grew up with, granddaughter. I think she's about 5 now. Her mother took her to the doctor this week because she noticed her one eye was pushed out. As it turns out, she has a tumor behind her eye that they could not remove completely because it was wrapped around her optic nerve. And to make it worse, the tumor was malignant. Oh my gosh, my worst nightmare. The little girl needs chemo and radiation over the next 6 months and maybe more after that. And they need to go to Boston sometime for a new treatment. So, please pray for this family, the little girl's name is Corinne, and her mother is pregnant right now, so I can't imagine how she's feeling.
A friend of mine from my old church emailed me to ask for prayers for my very dear friends who I grew up with, granddaughter. I think she's about 5 now. Her mother took her to the doctor this week because she noticed her one eye was pushed out. As it turns out, she has a tumor behind her eye that they could not remove completely because it was wrapped around her optic nerve. And to make it worse, the tumor was malignant. Oh my gosh, my worst nightmare. The little girl needs chemo and radiation over the next 6 months and maybe more after that. And they need to go to Boston sometime for a new treatment. So, please pray for this family, the little girl's name is Corinne, and her mother is pregnant right now, so I can't imagine how she's feeling.
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Answered Prayers
A funny thing happened to me the other day. I was in a great mood, for no reason. I was happy and bubbly and honestly, it was a day just like any other. I forgot to go to MOPS, B was still sick, Q extra curious about everything (because why, Mommy?), the same stuff I deal with every day, that usually leaves me grumpy. And I was absolutely joy filled. I couldn't explain it. Scott even commented on it. "Why are you in such a good mood?" He said to me when he got home that night, later than expected, which usually sends me over the edge. He even said "I'm a little scared. Seriously, whats' going on?"
So, today in bible study, my friend asked me "Have you been joyful, Kate?" Why, yes, I have! I totally forgot that I had made it a prayer request that I be filled with joy and to actually express it somehow. A weird prayer request I know (we were actually submitting a New Years resolution). I had asked for it, cause I am happy, but I guess I don't show it. Goodness, I have it so good. I have a great life, a great Savior! I just get caught up the mundane details of life, and I guess I walk around looking mad all the time. In fact, I was waiting in line for sandwiches to be made at WaWa and a stranger said to me, "Smile, it can't be that bad!" (and I cannot tell you how many times strangers have said this to me--mostly men though-- it can't be a pick up line can it?--??one can hope)
So today, when I was reminded of my request, I was so JOYFUL that it was answered! Kinda neat.
So, today in bible study, my friend asked me "Have you been joyful, Kate?" Why, yes, I have! I totally forgot that I had made it a prayer request that I be filled with joy and to actually express it somehow. A weird prayer request I know (we were actually submitting a New Years resolution). I had asked for it, cause I am happy, but I guess I don't show it. Goodness, I have it so good. I have a great life, a great Savior! I just get caught up the mundane details of life, and I guess I walk around looking mad all the time. In fact, I was waiting in line for sandwiches to be made at WaWa and a stranger said to me, "Smile, it can't be that bad!" (and I cannot tell you how many times strangers have said this to me--mostly men though-- it can't be a pick up line can it?--??one can hope)
So today, when I was reminded of my request, I was so JOYFUL that it was answered! Kinda neat.
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Good Eats
Last night I made a one pot/skillet meal and it was 'to die for'! Really. I love meals like this and it was so simple. My youngest ate it as well, double food score!
Skillet Lasagna.
1. Brown about a pound of beef in a skillet (I sauteed some onions and garlic a little before adding the beef).
2. Add a jar of sauce or homemade pasta sauce (3 cups worth) and a 1/2 cup of water along w/ 3 cups of broken up lasagna noodles ( I let Q break up the noodles and he LOVED this job, however, not so fond of the eating of the noodles later).
3. Simmer for 10 minutes.
4. Top w/ a cup of ricotta cheese (dotted over top of mixture), and 1 cup of shredded mozzarella cheese (I mixed in some parm w/ that too). Simmer an additional 3 minutes or so until cheese is melted.
5. Mangia! (that's Italian for eat, and I think I spelled it right too).
Q is on a new eating plan I have devised. I no longer make mac-n-cheese or chicken nuggets for him for dinner. (I told him the Doctor called and told him he had to try new food and that I couldn't make him these things any longer--except on Sundays, when I let him choose what he wants for supper). I give him an index card with a set number of squares on it (yesterday was 3 square=3bites). He gets stickers for each new thing he eats. So yesterday he tried broccoli and didn't gag, and then two bites of the noodles with the sauce on them and almost gagged, but he got his stickers. For earning all his stickers, he gets to chose dessert. And before you're all like "what? for 3 bites of food?" You have to know Q, and what it took for me to get him to eat mac-n-cheese and chicken, and what it took for me to get to this point of no longer making him a separate dinner. I will gradually extend the 3 bites and then eventually phase out the card. But, its working, he's trying new things, and for now, I'm happy with that.
I was so tired of the battle with food with Q. Cause he stopped eating the stuff he liked to. And then we were constantly prodding him to eat, and that got annoying too. I evaluated myself and why I was making him his separate dinner, and while at first it was just so he would eat (back in the day, he only ate baby food and I had to teach him to eat his standards), now it was just easier to make him his food and know that he'd eat and not have a battle. I was only doing it cause it was easier for me, and not healthy for him.
So, in my mom's bible study, we were talking about why we parent the way we do. Is it for selfish reasons? So that your child will love you? Or so you can fulfill your responsibilities to raise up your child in the way he should go? I felt convicted to change things, so I did. In only the way I know best, by devising a token board! (I used token boards a lot at work). And NO, its not bribery. Its called a behavior contract. Reinforcement is different than bribery. I'll explain another day.
Skillet Lasagna.
1. Brown about a pound of beef in a skillet (I sauteed some onions and garlic a little before adding the beef).
2. Add a jar of sauce or homemade pasta sauce (3 cups worth) and a 1/2 cup of water along w/ 3 cups of broken up lasagna noodles ( I let Q break up the noodles and he LOVED this job, however, not so fond of the eating of the noodles later).
3. Simmer for 10 minutes.
4. Top w/ a cup of ricotta cheese (dotted over top of mixture), and 1 cup of shredded mozzarella cheese (I mixed in some parm w/ that too). Simmer an additional 3 minutes or so until cheese is melted.
5. Mangia! (that's Italian for eat, and I think I spelled it right too).
Q is on a new eating plan I have devised. I no longer make mac-n-cheese or chicken nuggets for him for dinner. (I told him the Doctor called and told him he had to try new food and that I couldn't make him these things any longer--except on Sundays, when I let him choose what he wants for supper). I give him an index card with a set number of squares on it (yesterday was 3 square=3bites). He gets stickers for each new thing he eats. So yesterday he tried broccoli and didn't gag, and then two bites of the noodles with the sauce on them and almost gagged, but he got his stickers. For earning all his stickers, he gets to chose dessert. And before you're all like "what? for 3 bites of food?" You have to know Q, and what it took for me to get him to eat mac-n-cheese and chicken, and what it took for me to get to this point of no longer making him a separate dinner. I will gradually extend the 3 bites and then eventually phase out the card. But, its working, he's trying new things, and for now, I'm happy with that.
I was so tired of the battle with food with Q. Cause he stopped eating the stuff he liked to. And then we were constantly prodding him to eat, and that got annoying too. I evaluated myself and why I was making him his separate dinner, and while at first it was just so he would eat (back in the day, he only ate baby food and I had to teach him to eat his standards), now it was just easier to make him his food and know that he'd eat and not have a battle. I was only doing it cause it was easier for me, and not healthy for him.
So, in my mom's bible study, we were talking about why we parent the way we do. Is it for selfish reasons? So that your child will love you? Or so you can fulfill your responsibilities to raise up your child in the way he should go? I felt convicted to change things, so I did. In only the way I know best, by devising a token board! (I used token boards a lot at work). And NO, its not bribery. Its called a behavior contract. Reinforcement is different than bribery. I'll explain another day.
Monday, January 19, 2009
Its Always a Struggle
Oh geez, my kids and the hubs is sick. Nothing major. B has a cold and since he has clogged tear ducts, they get pussy and really inflamed instantly, but this is the worst I've seen them. He hasn't been sleeping great either. Q is going down the same road, and Scott just has a fever with no other symptoms, but he feels crappy. I hate it when my kids are sick, and I think I hate it more when Scott is sick. So Saturday, in the height of all the sicknesses, I found myself in a battle over whether or not to succumb to my fleshly desires and have a tantrum (what about me!! who will pay attention to me and help me! waaaa!), or to suck it up and just accept the fact that this is what being a mom is all about and serve my men with grace and a smile(Christ like).
So, I was on edge all day. All day. It started at 7 in the morning with me about to loose it with Q cause he wouldn't stop asking me for breakfast while I was making it. (oh and it was good breakfast too, pumpkin pancakes, really really yummy). Scott slept in later, and even though I knew he didn't feel good, it annoyed me. My selfishness really stuns me sometimes. I was bitter that he got to sleep late, and by late, I mean 8am. So, I prayed and took a deep breath and just had to let it go, he was sick. I was just fighting myself all day. I was so grumpy. At about 9am I had seriously considered medicating myself with some Xanax, so I could just relax and ride out the day. Brendan wouldn't eat, Q was winy and had a ton of energy and I didn't have Scott to help me like he usually does on the weekends. (Though he did, take Q out ice skating for a little while which helped me finally get the ornaments off the tree--yes, its still up). On top of all this, I had a list of things a mile long to get done this weekend, AND my sister and SIL were in town and wanted to hang out.
I survived the day, but I blew up at Scott for petty reasons and in front of the kids.
By the time the kids were in bed, I made the decision to give up. I went down stairs and threw a hissy fit to Scott and lost my battle and my cool.
Why is this so hard for me? I totally knew what I was supposed to do and how I was supposed to feel, but I just didn't do it.
I know that we need to let Jesus fulfill all our needs and not rely on others to do it, but I just didn't know how that is supposed to happen. The whole day I just kept thinking, 'What about my needs?!". Ugh, again, my selfishness is so ugly and at the very least this weekend, God has showed me how selfish I am. So, my prayers this week will be for patience with my sick family (and that I don't get sick) and that I can push myself aside and be Christ-like and compassionate and selfless.
So, I was on edge all day. All day. It started at 7 in the morning with me about to loose it with Q cause he wouldn't stop asking me for breakfast while I was making it. (oh and it was good breakfast too, pumpkin pancakes, really really yummy). Scott slept in later, and even though I knew he didn't feel good, it annoyed me. My selfishness really stuns me sometimes. I was bitter that he got to sleep late, and by late, I mean 8am. So, I prayed and took a deep breath and just had to let it go, he was sick. I was just fighting myself all day. I was so grumpy. At about 9am I had seriously considered medicating myself with some Xanax, so I could just relax and ride out the day. Brendan wouldn't eat, Q was winy and had a ton of energy and I didn't have Scott to help me like he usually does on the weekends. (Though he did, take Q out ice skating for a little while which helped me finally get the ornaments off the tree--yes, its still up). On top of all this, I had a list of things a mile long to get done this weekend, AND my sister and SIL were in town and wanted to hang out.
I survived the day, but I blew up at Scott for petty reasons and in front of the kids.
By the time the kids were in bed, I made the decision to give up. I went down stairs and threw a hissy fit to Scott and lost my battle and my cool.
Why is this so hard for me? I totally knew what I was supposed to do and how I was supposed to feel, but I just didn't do it.
I know that we need to let Jesus fulfill all our needs and not rely on others to do it, but I just didn't know how that is supposed to happen. The whole day I just kept thinking, 'What about my needs?!". Ugh, again, my selfishness is so ugly and at the very least this weekend, God has showed me how selfish I am. So, my prayers this week will be for patience with my sick family (and that I don't get sick) and that I can push myself aside and be Christ-like and compassionate and selfless.
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